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An Ethical Dilemma – Children and Trauma

An Ethical Dilemma – Children and Trauma

Family trauma issues are often entrenched by the time you are a young adult – abandonment; emotional deprivation; unresolved anger; neglect; lack of personal boundaries, confusion; anxiety; guilt,  shame; disassociation, depression; sleep disorder; mistrust; hypervigilance, night terrors; fragmented ethics and moral values; numbing out to life and denial; inability to communicate and function in relationships or to maintain friendships –  which allows the child to become the target for bullying and abuse in the wider world. All the experiences in the larger world are compounded and reinforce all of the above family issues that have been internalised as a young child.  It becomes the The Self Forfilling Prophecy. 

The child’s psyche works hard to cultiavate a world view that is safe, blanking out what is too painful when faced with ongoing trauma – escaping into the world of fantasy is often a release. A child who lives with constant trauma will numb them self to the effects of trauma. This highly developed wall of protection can make the child even more vunerable. This is often evident when “unspeakable” things happen, the child seems to flow and go along with the situation, and even when questioned directly about the situation, would deny strongly and tell the concerned adult that everything was ok. So often help is not received and the child is not protected. 

If you suspect a child is living in living in an abusive situation or is being neglected what would you do? Do you seek to find a non invasive way to respond to the situation? Do you go in hard and create more chaos ? Do you walk away and do nothing? Sadly more people than you imagine will choose the third option. The second most common response is the second senario and very few will seek to engage with the adults and child/children directly and offer their time and expression of concern.

Suspicion and gossip can be malicious and unfounded – so caution is always advised before diving into anothers affairs. this does not mean that when you witness bad behaviour you excuse it and turn you head the other ways and pretend that you did not see it. This can be an ethical dilemma.

A life changing poem – Desiderata

A life changing poem – Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

By Max Ehrmann 1927

This poem and Les Cranes version found its way into my life when I was 14 and it has remained with me all my life. The wisdom, compassion and love in these words touched something soul deep and I feel to share this with you all.

love and blessings to all who find this


Green the Planet

Green the Planet

Time to make changes

Time to rethink and motivate others

Connect to your voice

Time to voice your opinions 

Time to plant a tree

Time to plant many trees

Natural solutions are available to us right now

Do not wait for an Other to save us  because no one else is coming

You and I are the Ones of our time and we all have our part to play

Time to take action and be the change needed in the world

© Jacquie Walker


Walk your talk and shine your light in the world



You have the right to be here.
You have the right to dream big.
You have the right to have success.
You have the right to be loved.
You have the right to shine your light brightly.
You have the right to celebrate and be celebrated.
You have the right to expect more than you can yet begin to imagine.

You are Unique and the is No one like you in the entire Universe.
Imagine and visualise the life you want and create it.



Are you an Empath?

Are you an Empath?

Life is a journey of remembering and connecting with who we are. My own life was very confusing until one day someone asked me if I was an Empath – and guided me to find out more.

Do you crave to be alone and want to close down from all the “noise” around you? Do you need to just leave crowded spaces so you can breathe? Or when you are at a shopping centre do you feel like a weight is dragging you down and you begin to feel drowsy and feel the need to run? Do you sometimes identify with another’s pain and feel it so intensely that it feels like your own?  What you are experiencing may be an indicator that you are Empath.

If you are experiencing any of the above – know that you are not alone. There are 1000’s of people who feel this way.

Sometimes the energy that we walk into is just to much for us to handle. Some may say, ” Get over it”, but it but you know that it is not that simple.

“I just feel and know things  about people – and I can’t explain why!”

You might also know that you just know things about others that you can not explain. You might find that you have really strong reactions around certain people for no apparent reason.  Or you might find you are really drawn to make comment about something to someone you do not even know – but you are compelled and just have to voice the message you receive.

If you experience any of the above then you might like to read some more about what it means to be an Empath.–7-Signs-Youre-an-Empath

If you want to ask more or share your experience leave a comment.

in love and friendship





Visioning the Future


Living PathwaysLIvingPathways

Visioning Future Pathways 



Dreaming, sharing and collaborating with others, sharing passion and vision for future pathways.

Find the way through the maze of confusion and create a blueprint for success.

Vision the way, and receive the tools to  create success in all areas of your life your through tapping into your heart centred consciousness.

If you are interested and would like more information then email me or leave a comment


Falling out with loved ones and friends – Make amends and Make up


Disappointments are part of daily life. Sometimes we lose something that is precious or hurt someone we love. Worse still sometimes someone we love lets us down and we feel hurt.  In response, we can begin to feel angry and resentful. In our imagination we can magnify the disappointment and hurt feelings making it really significant until it is dominating our entire life view that impacts on every aspect of our day.  This leads to more anger and rage inside and we lose our happiness – as everything feels wrong in our world view.  We push people away and very often do not allow the very significant loved one to come back to us and make up with an explanation or apology.

Let it go... Take a moment to breathe. Be in the moment.

If you have hurt a friend or someone you love,  talk to them and make amends as best you can. Be honest and don’t avoid the issue. Listen to them and allow them to share with you everything they need to – uninterrupted.  Then let them know how you are feeling… Don’t try and justify your actions. Be sincere. Sometimes a card or a gift helps us to start the conversation, or even just a email.

If you have been hurt by someone you trusted and love then let then know how their actions have made you feel. Be prepared to listen. Often the other person involved is feeling just as bad as you are feeling. Remind yourself of your love and friendship and what it means to you. You might like to make contact. It is always best to wait until you are no longer full of emotion, whether it be anger fear or sadness.

Setting boundaries with loved ones is something we often do not think about . Talking though the issues is a really opportune time to make clear respectful boundaries  – what is ok and what is not ok.

Friendship is a precious gift and is something not to be taken for granted.

Don’t let pride and emotions and exaggerated thoughts destroy relationships with loved ones


Gift of a Smile


A smile is a gift that lifts the spirit. When you receive a smile it lifts your spirit and in that instant brings joy and a lightness of step. A smile can alleviate the pressures of stress.  IT is  a gift that is priceless – money can not buy. To receive a Smile is a blessing that brightens your day and fills you will an inner glow… and almost always sparks a reciprocal response. A smile from a friend is affirming and deepens our connections and feelings of belonging. A gift most precious is the Smile from a stranger – a tiny shared moment of recognition can change our mood for the day.

Best of all you can give this gift to yourself… try it the next time you stand in front of the mirror as you comb your hair brush your teeth or wash your hands. Look into your eyes and see the light that shines as you smile back at yourself.

How many gifts of a smile did you share with another today? If you are not sure – notice the next time you go out. 🙂 smileyface